Been Tired Lately

Well, I haven't blogged lately.  Going to dialysis, back home and laying down.  My goodness, dialysis just drains me sometimes.  How some days, I can feel so good and other times, I totally do feel drained.  Wow, you'd think I would be used to this by now.   2 1/2 years on dialysis, and problems w/fistulas and then  a graft.  Clotting in graft many times having to go to vascular center in Wichita to get graft declotted many times in 14 months, then Oct. 4th.,  went into hospital in Wichita and Dr.  Shields did the surgery on me to get the graft fixed in my leg.  He took about 3 or 4 inches of the tubeing out of my leg that was clotted where there was a narrowing in the artery and rerouted the graft tubeing he still had in my leg in a better artery.   So far, so good on the way it is working now.  Dr. Shields is really a very good surgeon, a really good doctor too.  My doctors here in Hutchinson are very good too.   If anyone else reads this blog, if u are on dialysis, I would like to know how long u have been on it, where u are on dialysis at and how u are doing too.  I have started makeing friends at dialysis and wow, when I first started, the cramping, low blood pressure, being weak and all that comes along w/dialysis treatments.  It was rough and I never thought I would never get used to it.  I am going to close this out for now.  Thank you for takeing the time to check out my blog. 

Lots of Frost on Car Window Early This Morning

Wow, I had to get up and take my friend to work this morning.  Didn't even have a ice scraper to get the stuff off my car window.  Had to use a old broom.  LOL  It did the trick though.  Came home and rested for another 1 /2 hours then got ready for dialysis.  My friend Nash got done w/his dialysis before I did and he had a nurse bring him over to where I was sitting and told me he would see me in a week.  This darling man is going to be in the hospital to get his left leg amputated.  He already had the right one done a few months ago.  He already had a broken back where he couldn't walk when he did have legs.  So he has been in a wheel chair for a while before I met him 2 1/2 years ago.  He is such a inspiration and such a happy man no matter what he goes through.  I am so proud of him.  When I first started dialysis, he gave me and still does, so much incouragement when I would be scared and feel down.  He will be at the Hutchinson Hospital, they will do his surgery Tuesday.  I let him know I love him and my prayers are with him.  I have other friends at dialysis and I never dreamed I could make friends from dialysis, but I did, and when one of us are sick or don't show up at dialysis, they ask about us.  It is so nice to know so many people care about u.    Now too, I have a cousin who has cancer and is awaiting a stemcell transplant and another friend who has cancer and she too is having a hard time of it.  So Please if you are reading this post, Send your love and prayers to all these people.   My Love and Prayers go out to u Nash, Carrie and Valarie.  Luck, Love & Prayers to all three of you.

Another Day In My Life.

Well, I got up at 9:15 A.M. this morning.  Got myself ready and went over and picked up Tony and Dawn Pitchford.  We did some errands, I did some grocery shopping and then I picked up my best friend and took him to Dentist.  Before I did that, I went to S.S. Office to get a paper of my monthly pay.  I went to Salvation Army to apply for a Thanksgiving cirtificate so I can , if nothing else get a small turkey to cook.  I Love turkey.  Lots of people like ham, but I like turkey, the turkey gravy and masshed potatoes and just a simple dinner since Mom not living next door now.  I always enjoyed fixing the dinner and I always made her a pecan pie as that was her favorite.  Momma Loved my dinners when I made them on the Holidays.  I did the same thing for Christmas too.  Though u are gone Mom, I will keep doing the cooking as long as I can do it.   Boy did I get sidetracked here.  Well, after I did the application at Salvation Army, I came back home and picked up my best friend and then took him to the dentiist and then he needed to go do his shopping.  After that, we came back home.  Wow am I tired.  In Moning I have dialysis.  Friday, the last day of dialysis for 2 days.  My weekend is free then back again on Monday.  Feel like I am going to a job and not getting paid for it.  LOL   I still need to figure out how I will  get my house insurance paid and cream for  my leg to help me  w/pain from the needles.    Well, I can't worry about that this evening.  I am getting really tired.  I am going to give this up for tonight.  Hope your day was more adventuraus then mine.  Later.

I Am Asking For Your Help

I am getting ready to take care of some bills and such.  I have my house Ins. and need some more Lidocain that my health Ins. won't pay for.  The Lidocain is a cream that I need to put on my left leg where graft is to keep me from the pain of the needles that go in my leg for dialysis..  I am only getting $694. a month to take care of expenses.  Plus yes, I am able to buy food from my vision card which is about $100. a month.  I am sure other people are not getting that much either.  It is so hard and like many of u, I am beside mysellf on how I can get help.  I hope and pray that there is some kind people out there in computer land that can help me.  If you can help me, here is my paypal account:  cassidydoll@hotmail.com    Any amount will help.  .50  1.00 even will help.  Anything will help.  I do truely apprecieate any help that u can give.  Please don't think bad of me for asking for help.  Thank You Again in advance.

Thoughts For Today

Wow, I didn't want to get out of bed today.  It was somewhat chili and rainy too.  I wanted to stay home, but had to go to dialysis.  I put the Lidocain Cream on my leg where the graft is so it won't hurt when the put the needles in for my dialysis treatments.  My sister Roberta came over to dialysis to help me hold my sites when they pulled the needles.  Have to hold for 20 minutes to make sure the site clots and don't bleed out.   She has been helping me for all this time since I have been going to dialysis and to hospitals and such.  Wish there was something I could do for her.  She has been there every step of the way.  Money for gas for her vehicle or even to take her out to dinner as a Thank You for everyghing.    Roberta has such a kind heart.  I am glad she is my sister.   When I came home from dialysis today, I was totally drained.  I got something warm to eat as it was cold outside and then I laid down and rested for a while.  Took my friend to work and came back home.  Later on, I picked him up and WOW, It was snowing out.  Came home to my little boys, Rocky and Tator.  They are my little Yorkie puppies.  Tator is about 2 1/2 years old and little Rocky is about 1 1/2 now.  They are both so spoiled and the light of my life.  I would be so lost withoug them.  They sleep w/me.   They are so darling.  Always doing something to make me smile.  You ask them something and they will look at u like they understand u and actually talk to me.  They are so special.  They are my children in my heart.   I will put a picture of them up w/their Halloween outfits on.  They are so cute.  Mommy's Precious babies.     Rocky is the youngest baby w/Baseball outfit and Tator is the oldest baby w/Pumpkin outfit on.    They really Loved watching the children come for candy and they helped Mommy pass out the candy.    It was so much fun for them and me too.  The children and their parents got a kick out of seeing these two babies w/their outfits on.   My boys love getting clothes on.  When I go to put something on one of them, the other fusses to get something on too.  It is so cute to see them do that.  LOL  I guess u can tell that I Love my little guys.  Well, I will close this out and go to bed now.  Feel free to comment on any of my post at any time. 
Later, I will tell u all more about myself.  Later. 

My Thoughts For Today

Well, I have dialysis tomorrow.  My wish is that I could have a vacation for a month from my dialysis, but I know it is my life now and I won't miss it unless I have no choice.  Started out with a tube in my chest, then a fistula in my right arm.  My goodness, how painful that was.   I barley started getting used to that when all of a sudden, it stopped workig and clotted and they had to put a graft in my upper left thigh.  Till that was ready to use, again, I had another tube in chest for that.  Was in hospital at that time in Wichita for 10 days and finally got to go home.   A graft in that area was so painful once they started using that area.  It took me a while to get used to it.  I had to use a Lidocain cream to help w/pain from needles.  On and off through the 14 months the graft has been used, it clotted quite a few times and had to go to Vascular Center in Wichita to get graft declotted.  I was trying to care for my Mother on top of all my own problems.  It got to a point that my Mother was in need of 24 hour care and we tried to get her help, but finally had to put her in a nursing home, which I felt guilty about, but was not takeing the best of care of myself and she did like it where I was able to put her and she understood why I needed to go that route for her and she worried about me till the end of her life.  4 days before she passed, she had to go to a Hospice House where she was till Aug. 28, 2011.   From there she was Creminated and we burried her ashes on Sept. 8, 2011 and had a nice graveside service.  It really was so Beautiful and I will never forget it.  Mother worried about all of us kids, which are 5 of us, but we all was able to give her permission to go when she was ready.   I and a couple other of my siblings promised her that I would be OK and taken care of when she was gone.  I told her I promised to stay on dialysis no matter what.  She worried about me for that, so I reassured her of that.  Living next door to her was good for me as I was able to go check on her several times a day.  She would call me and say, are u going to dialysis today or call me late at night and ask if I had dialysis in morning.    After she passed, I still expected her to call me.  I did find myself picking up the phone and calling her number and actually let it ring 5 times before I realized what I did.   It's hard, but she is in a much better place now.  She is in no more pain.  Mom is looking down on each and everyone of her family and she knows we will be OK in our own ways.  We were all so fortunate to have her for our Mother.  She was really fun and enjoyed life.  Well, I will close this post now and try to do more later.